Angry santa

In a biology practical Exam, Examiner showed legs of bird n said:
Tell the bird's name
Santa:I dont know
Examiner: U have failed. Wats ur name?
Santa(angrily): You please see my legs, and tell my name...
Gal karda hai..

Johny johny..

Johny johny..
                Yes papa!
Government job.
                Yes papa!
Lot of tension..
                Yes papa!
Too much work..
                Yes papa!
Family life..
                 No papa!
Bp-sugar..
                High papa!
Yearly bonus..
              Joke papa!
Monthly pay..
               Low papa!
Personal life..
               Lost papa!

Weekly off!
                Ha Ha ha

Johny johny..

Johny johny..
                Yes papa!
Government job.
                Yes papa!
Lot of tension..
                Yes papa!
Too much work..
                Yes papa!
Family life..
                 No papa!
Bp-sugar..
                High papa!
Yearly bonus..
              Joke papa!
Monthly pay..
               Low papa!
Personal life..
               Lost papa!

Weekly off!
                Ha Ha ha

If "words and figures don't match

Men will be men

Banking rules-

It was five in the evening, the bank was almost closed.

All of a sudden, the Branch Manager received a phone call from a lady.

In a sweet voice she said - sir I urgently need Rs.10,000. I'll reach your bank in 10 minutes. Could you please wait for me?

Her voice was so captivating that the Branch Manager could not say no.

He instructed his cashier to keep the cash ready. The cashier obeyed his boss with great reluctance .

After a while, a lady with ugliest of face a huge tummy and a very uncommon figure came to the bank, presented a cheque to the BM and asked for the money.

The BM was taken aback, as he was expecting a cute lady.

He immediately told the lady that they had already closed the cash for the day and she should come next day.

The cashier was so furious and he asked the BM, if his intention was not to pay, why he was made to sit late.

BM -I wanted to help her. But its the Universal rule of banking that........

.

.

.

.

.

If "words and figures don't match, payment will be declined".

Johny johny..

Johny johny..
                Yes papa!
Government job.
                Yes papa!
Lot of tension..
                Yes papa!
Too much work..
                Yes papa!
Family life..
                 No papa!
Bp-sugar..
                High papa!
Yearly bonus..
              Joke papa!
Monthly pay..
               Low papa!
Personal life..
               Lost papa!

Weekly off!
                Ha Ha ha

'Agree'culture...

Every husband is a farmer by default.
.
.
.
.
His survival
solely depends on 'agree'culture...

Tu price kam kar

CEO of Audi while justifying its high cost: "We have 12 airbags, safety controls, safety censors, safety parking assistance, scafe..."

Santa: "We have Durga Ma and Babaji on the dashboard, hanuman ji on rear view mirror, Nimbu Mirch on bumper and Maa di Lal Chunni around the rear view mirror...
Don't worry about our safety...Tu price kam kar "

A small kid asked his mom

A small kid asked his mom - Mom - how do you always know how to solve my problems ,?? 
Mom replied .... well you know God makes us take an exam to be able to know and solve all your problems before we become mummy . Only when we pass the test we become Mom !!!
The kid gave a knowing smile and said - I understand... If you fail in the test you become Daddy !!

why you feel proud of being an teacher?

Someone asked an teacher,
why you feel proud of being an teacher?

He smiled and told that
" A lawyer's income increases with increase in crime and litigation.

A  doctor's income increases with increase in diseases / illness.

But an teacher's income increases with increase in knowledge, prosperity of people and
nation ...!!".

That's why we feel proud...

Terrible English by PT sir

1) There is no wind in the football..
2) I talk, he talk, why you middle talk?.
3) You rotate the ground 4 times..
4) You go and understand the tree.
5) I'll give you clap on ur cheeks..
6) Bring your parents and your mother and especially your father.
7) Close the window airforce is coming.
8) I have two daughters and both are girls..
9) Stand in a straight circle..
10) Don't stand in front of my back
11) Why Haircut not cut..?
12) Don't make noise.. principle is rotating in the corridor
13) Why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when I’m here?
14) You talking bad habit
15) Give me a red pen of any colour.
16) Can i have some snow in my cold drink?
17) Pick the paper and fall into the dustbin.
18) Both of u stand together separately.
19) Keep quiet the principal just passed away!!

Pls maintain minimum balance...

Salary day special !!!

9.00 : *beep beep*.. Msg received...
Salary credited to ur a/c

Me : Yipeeee..

9.01 : *beep beep*
Home EMI auto debited..

9.02 : *beep beep*
Car loan EMI auto debited..

9.03 : *beep beep*
Credit card bill auto debited..

9.04 : *beep beep*
Phone bill auto debited..

9.05 : *beep beep*
Electricity bill auto debited..

9.06 : *beep beep*
LIC EMI auto debited..

9.07 : *beep beep*
Medical insurance EMI debited..

9.08 : *beep beep*
Pls maintain minimum balance...!!!
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